It took me an hour and 45 minutes to drive home today. Damn you pre-Thanksgiving traffic. Good thing I had my RENT soundtrack on blast. Don’t lie. You know you once loved it, too.
I’m off to find glory, behind the cheap colored lights. One song, before the sunsets. Glory, on another empty life. Time flies. Time DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. (I actually held out the E’s until he stopped singing that word in the video)
My basil is growing. Pick it for me. I don’t know how to. Thanks.
And nothing beats a night comprised of Yogurtland, some good reading, and picking at a random thread on your jeans.
Would you light my candle?
DEAR DOZER,
TODAY WHEN I WOKE UP, I WAS ITCHY. AT WORK, I WAS ITCHY. WHEN I GOT HOME TODAY, I COUNTED 15 FLEA BITES ON MY STOMACH AND BACK. THEN I WONDERED HM, WHERE COULD I HAVE GOTTEN THESE FLEA BITES. THEN I REMEMBERED WHEN YOUR MASTER ASKED ME A COUPLE DAYS AGO OUT OF THE BLUE IF MOCHI EVER GOT FLEAS DURING THE WINT…ERTIME, TO WHICH I REPLIED, ‘NO, SHE ONLY HAS FLEAS DURING THE SUMMERTIME’, TO WHICH YOUR MASTER REPLIED, ‘DOGS CAN GET FLEAS ANYTIME OF THE YEAR, JUST NOT AS LIKELY DURING THE WINTER’ END CONVERSATION. FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT 30 MINUTES AGO WHILE I WAS DRIVING IN MY CAR WITH NO MUSIC BECAUSE MY RADIO HAS BEEN BROKEN FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS. AS I WAS HUMMING TAYLOR SWIFT AND MY MIND WAS WANDERING, I FELT THE NEED TO SCRATCH AT MY FLEA BITES. UPON PONDERING SOME MORE, I REALIZED THE AFOREMENTIONED CONVERSATION. THEN EVERYTHING CLICKED.
TONIGHT, MOCHI IS SLEEPING ALONE DOWNSTAIRS. AND I STILL HAVE 15 LARGE FLEA BITES THAT I WILL SCRATCH TOMORROW.
UNLOVE,
TIFF
OMG IM SO ITCHY.
ON A YUMMIER NOTE, CHESTER’S PUFFCORN, NOW IN FLAMING FLAVOUR.
GO FLAME YOURSELF.
DEAR DOZER,
I AM SORRY FOR THINKING THAT YOU GAVE MOCHI FLEAS. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE FLEAS CAME FROM. MY CAPS LOCK RAGE THAT I WAS IN LAST NIGHT WAS DUE TO THE FACT THAT MY FLEA BITES WERE EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE AND I WAS BEING GRUMPY. ALSO, I DIDN’T WIN IN POKER AS MUCH AS I SHOULD HAVE. SORRY, FOR YOU WERE THE VICTIM OF GREEDYPOKER/CRAZYFLEABITE RAGE. I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY MOST SINCEREST OF APOLOGIES. AND MAYBE A GREENIE. IN RETURN FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS. IF YOU CANNOT READ, PLEASE ASK YOUR MASTER TO READ THIS LETTER TO YOU. I WILL FOREVER HAVE THE IMAGE OF YOUR SO-SED FACE STUCK IN MY HEAD. PLEASE DONT BE SO SED. CAN YOU SHOW ME WHAT YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY? THANK YOU.
LOVE,
TIFF.
What a sports-filled weekend.
Boys and their sweat & gatorade.
I’ll let you figure this one out.
Duh-duh-duh dee jay hero in da hizzouuuuuuuuuse.
Jicka jicka re-re-remix.
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